Mobile Mama

I'm a Type-A, Controlling Crazy Person

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:58:09 -0500

I’m getting on a plane and going 4,355 miles from my children for 6 days tomorrow. I’m terrified. What if they need me? What if they fall and break something? What if they don’t wear exactly the clothes I would have picked out for them? What if there is a car accident with the baby sitter? What if I miss something special on Cy’s last day at school?

What if… This question makes me crazy.

If I feel out of control, I start to lose my mind. I go into anxiety-stricken, not-a-nice-person, panic mode. Don’t ask Cleve about this; I would hate for him to be honest with you about the crazy person I can become.

If we pray and bring our anxiety to God, he promises us “the peace, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

My type-A controlling heart is not from the Lord. I must die to myself and re-preach the gospel to myself daily. I fail at this a lot.

How am I going to make it through six days in Alaska? I’m not quite sure yet, but I’ve prepared as much as I can. I’ve left a novel worth of schedules, tips, and emergency information. I’ve got class snacks prepared for Cy’s last three days of school, and clothes even laid out.

If I’m honest with myself, my fear and anxiety is more about me and my selfishness than it is about the kids. I’m going to miss them like crazy, and then I’ll be home.

Caring for Cleve is my first responsibility. This week is about supporting his mission and vision. That’s my privilege. I can’t be in two places at once.

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot,..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 11:20:21 -0500

“

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

”

- I’ve gone through some busy seasons at home, and I’ve gone through busy seasons at work, but as the two collide here at the end of the year, I’m exhausted. I’m overwhelmed and can’t seem to finish coherent thoughts. I may not have gone through the suffering the writer of this hymn had, but what a glorious thing that the same grace is available for all of us.

As the wise Matt Papa says, a song is a sermon you sing to yourself. I’m preaching this one all day (and probably for the next few days).

More information and history o n ”It Is Well With My Soul”

You Are Loved

Sat, 11 May 2013 09:46:39 -0500

It was Mother’s Day. I wore a new dress. I got the dress out of a need for something that fit my post-partum body while being insanely cheap. (I think I bought it from Walmart in a late-night diaper run.) I still felt as frumpy and dumpy as I ever have wearing it.

I made a typical mistake that morning and asked Cleve how it looked. He gave me a half-hearted, “It looks alright.” Or something like that. His words didn’t actually matter. In my mind, his eyes and tone said far more. I knew I looked terrible. I’m certain an argument ensued as I tried to get a 10-week-old, a 23-month-old, and a 3.5-year-old ready for church in our usual hurried fashion. I don’t believe the argument between us ever stopped until we actually arrived at church. My own self-pity refused to let whatever angst was inside of me go.

I sat through church uncomfortable on the inside and out as I reflected on what an over-reacting monster I was. I felt sorry for myself. I’m a terrible mother, and for what good I do contribute, I feel under-appreciated. It was a no-win situation for my family that day.

I started a journey that day to put movement back in my then-stagnant faith. As I tried to backtrack over some of my hateful words from the morning at a less-than-Mother’s-Day-worthy lunch, I talked to Cleve about having an on-going project that was just for me - an outlet where I could be honest and spend time reflecting. He had been encouraging me for a while to write my thoughts down publicly.

That was two years ago this weekend. I went home that day and started writing. I’m not a great writer, but as I said then, this is for me. I have nearly as many un-published posts as I do published. They aren’t all worth sharing. Trust me.

I started this very simple blog as a result of a feeling of loneliness and self-pity on Mother’s Day.

Elyse Fitzpatrick wrote a wonderful piece this week about Mother’s Day, reclaiming it as Daughter’s Day. I highly recommend it for everyone - all women and men.

Here’s what’s wrong with Mother’s Day (and every other celebration of our own goodness): Any time you seek satisfaction, honor, and glory in yourself you’re going to be dissatisfied—that applies to both women and men. Any time you look for someone to give you something that will make you feel like you’ve done a good job, or are finally a person of worth, you’re going to be disappointed.

Over the past two years, I’ve come to appreciate this day the way Elyse talks about it. I know that my identity is not rooted in the response of others to my ability be a good wife and mother. My identity is in the grace of the gospel. I must die to myself every day - finding my joy in celebrating what Christ has done for me and not in being praised by others. Some days I fail. Some days I do a little better.

Whatever happens this Sunday remember this: You are loved. You are forgiven. You are righteous. Not because of anything you can do, but only because of what Jesus has already done…

“Go ahead and receive praise and gifts with a smile, but remember these paltry bobbles aren’t anything in comparison to one drop of that precious blood. His work has made you his, and he has given you an eternal identity. You are his beloved daughter in whom he is well pleased.

'Twas The Night Before Staff Retreat

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:28:00 -0500

I wish I could say that the long, drawn-out process below is rare for us, but getting all of my home responsibilities accomplished takes a second full work day many times. A peek into the life of a working mother the last 14 hours before getting out of town for a couple of days:

6 p.m.
I get home after working a little late getting caught up before being out of town the rest of the week. I walk in and there is an adorable two-year-old eagerly waiting to be picked up and loved on and a three-year-old running up half-naked. I’m not sure why she isn’t wearing a shirt, but I carry her and give her a hug, too.

Cleve is graciously cooking dinner for the family when I arrive home - spaghetti and meatballs. He is such a great cook, and I am a blessed woman that he cooks one or two nights a week for us when he really doesn’t have to. He’s even busier than I am with his own work and ministry.

7:30 p.m.
After a quick, yummy dinner and a few more cuddles while sneaking in a few minutes of the Braves game, it’s time to get busy.

Start one load of laundry. Start packing. Call Grandmama because Cleve and the kids haven’t talked to her in a while. Bath time. Chase fully naked children around the house to get them in pajamas. One kid in bed - late.

9 p.m.
After a puking incident a couple of days earlier, I finally have the bedding re-washed, so it’s time to re-make Cy’s bed from the box springs all the way to comforter as I put the big kids to bed. All kids in bed (way past their “bedtime”).

Fold laundry that was leftover from the weekend. Start a second load for the night. Give Cleve feedback on a project for work.

10 p.m.
Go to the grocery store, yes, grocery store, to get some necessities so the kids actually have something to eat this week in our absence. And I need snacks for Warner’s preschool class because it’s his week to bring snacks for all of his friends. Fill the car up with gas so that Laura can drive the kids around for the next two days. Stop by the ATM to deposit a check and get a little cash. Get home, take the trashcan to the road because it will be picked up tomorrow. Put the groceries up and prep the snacks.

11 p.m.
Finish a freelance project, finish the last load of laundry, and lay out the kids clothes for the next day. Start one last load of laundry for good measure. Proof a video for the retreat. Answer any last minute, important emails. Set my out-of-office assistant on my work email. All while catching up on Revolution with my sister so that she won’t watch it without me while we’re gone.

12:30 a.m.
Try to head to bed. Cleve is still working. Set a ton of reminders on my phone so that I don’t forget the million little things I need to do in the morning. Plug the iPad in because I’ll probably need it to keep Warner busy while I take a shower in the morning. As I do this, I notice Cleve’s drink is sweating and making a mess on the nightstand. Cleaning it up, I attempt to pass the cup to him. Naturally, the cup slips and splashes sweet tea on Cleve, the bed, the nightstand, and all over the wall. I’m never going to bed.

1 a.m.
I attempt to go to bed with lights still on and Cleve finishing some things. My eyes start to close, and here it comes. Crying from upstairs. Cy is having terrible ‘growing pains’ in his leg. Cleve, again, very graciously goes upstairs to make him feel better and get him stop crying. What a great daddy!

—insert 4.5 hours of sleep—

6 a.m.
Alarm goes off. Warner wakes up. After the commotion with the drink, I realize the iPad was never actually plugged up. 1% battery. Plug it up while Warner watches some Dora on it. Get ready.

6:45 a.m.
Write a note to my mother for a Mother’s Day package going in the mail today. Finish packing. Get Warner dressed and get him breakfast. Put that last load of laundry in the dryer.

7:15 a.m.
Big kids wake up. Get them breakfast. Write preschool tuition check and get the final payment for our June vacation prepared so that it’s sent in on time. Make a list of things that must be done around the house for Laura.

7:30 a.m.
[Supposed to be leaving the house.] Finish last minute clean up, packing, loading the car, tell the kids goodbye as Laura is now responsible for getting the big kids dressed and all three kids to preschool by 9 a.m. We’re finally pulling out of the driveway at 7:50 a.m. - 20 minutes late.

I am so grateful to be on a two day retreat with The Summit Church staff. Seriously, what a wonderful chance to refocus in the mountains for 48 hours. It’s totally worth it but time for a nice long nap.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10

Cy's Special Day

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 18:32:26 -0600

Watching your kids grow can be sad. I’m sure I will cry on the first day of kindergarten and every other “last” and “first”, but I hope I’m better known for celebrating the other days - what comes between the “first” and the “last”. That’s where the fun and the growing happens. That’s where our kids gain the dangerous faith Jen Hatmaker talked about earlier this week - a brilliant post of brave parenting and brave kids.

Today was one such day - Cy’s ‘Special Day’ at preschool. He could pick the theme, be line-leader, and have a little presentation about himself where his friends could ask him questions.

I had so much fun watching him be the star. He chose a football/sports theme which was perfect given not only his obsession with the sport but it being Superbowl weekend. He asked all of the other kids to wear their favorite team shirts and jerseys.

Some interesting facts Cy was able to share with his class:

Cy has lived in three different states in 5 years.
Cy has flown by airplane on at least 7 different trips (that mommy can remember).
Cy has visited 17 different states already: TN, GA, NC, SC, KY, AR, VA, WV, IL, WI, MA, TX, MT, WY, OH, IN, SD
Cy can tell you on demand every NFL team and a bazillion statistics.
Cy’s favorite teams are the Cowboys, Broncos, University of Georgia, and University of North Carolina.
His favorite places to visit are West Virginia, Nashville, and Grandmama’s house.

Flag holder and line leader, Cy, in his full cowboys uniform, pads and all:

Ready for our class presentation:

Pin the football between the goal post:

Even more simple.

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 17:31:00 -0600

I didn’t think the simple life in West Virginia could get more simple. But the winter brings quiet serenity - not to mention no snakes.

We picked up our summer adventure right where we left off but just for a short weekend trip. We returned to the same cabin…

After we warmed the house up from -8 degrees and thawed the frozen pipes, we had a wonderful two days of playing in the snow, and that’s about it. There’s really isn’t anything else to do except enjoy all the wonderful, freshly falled snow.

Warner stepped off the porch and immediately laid down - just sprawled out right there in the middle of the walkway.

He had such a great time. Every picture I took he’s making this same smiling face.

There were snow angels…

And some make-shift sledding (too many trees for real sledding at the cabin)…

And running down the driveway to open the gate - everything is more fun in the snow.

We braved the roads no one had traveled yet to make it to the top of Spruce Knob (highest point in WV). Walking through the spruce trees was like walking through Narnia. But the view wasn’t as spectacular. All the falling snow made for nearly no visibility of the surrounding mountains and valleys. And this is the last pic I got before my phone literally froze and stopped working until I got back in the car and warmed it up. Seriously. It was really cold.

I love this picture of Cleve helping Cy shoot in the snow.

Now that we’ve settled in to North Carolina, and Cleve has recovered from a broken elbow, I can’t wait to see where our adventures take us this year. One of the beauties of living around Raleigh-Durham is the close proximity to so many wonderful places.

Dirty Diapers II

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 23:23:12 -0600

17,000.

Whew. It’s been our biggest parenting battle to date. And now it’s over. Charlotte, 3 years old, is finally fully potty trained.

I wish I could adequately explain how much I dislike this one parenting task. I’m terrible at it, and apparently my children aren’t too great at it either (I’ve probably said this to you before).

I can think of a dozen possible reasons why Charlotte has spent more than a year refusing to consistently go to the potty (I’m to blame for most of them), but today none of those reasons matter. All that matters is how she beams every morning when she gets to put on a new pair of her big-girl panties. She is so proud of herself. We have all (even Cy) used this as an opportunity for over-the-top encouragement and positive reinforcement. She is the star of the house right now.

18 months ago, when we went through a similar battle with Cy, our magic number of diapers was 12,098. To that point, that’s how many diapers our home had gone through. By my completely scientific calculations, I estimate that number is now somewhere around 17,000.

By the numbers:
17,000 diapers in the past 5 1/2 years
3,380 diapers last year
275 diapers last month
65 diapers last week

Only one more baby in diapers!

I have a major (non)-announcement! When Cy turned 21 months...

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 18:38:25 -0600

Cy accidentally hit Warner in the head with a football. Here is our reaction caught on camera. :-)

I have a major (non)-announcement!

When Cy turned 21 months old, Charlotte was born later that week. When Charlotte turned 21 months old, Warner was born later that week. Last week, my baby boy turned 21 months old, and guess what? No baby will be born later this week. We are not expecting anymore children right now. Happy 21 months, Warner!

Also at 21 months, Cy and Charlotte were both out of their cribs in big beds. Yay, for no one booting Warner out of the crib. It’s yours, buddy, as long as you want it.

Unexpected Thanksgiving Blessings

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 17:16:24 -0600

We had no Thanksgiving plans. We’ve spent today lounging around watching the parade, joining half of Chapel Hill for carry out from K & W Cafeteria, and watching football. Depressing, right? Not at all. It’s even refreshing.

The craziness of this week with Cleve having surgery so quickly after breaking his arm last week brought many unexpected blessings.

Blessing 1:

I’ve enjoyed this time taking care of Cleve as he recovers and some dedicated time with my boys. I sent Charlotte to Georgia with my sister, Laura, to spend the long weekend with Mama Pam and Papa. It will be the longest I’ve ever spent away from any of my kids, but she is getting the attention and love she deserves being the spoiled princess of the house.

It feels really good to spend a couple of days not working and just being a wife and mother. I haven’t had time to recharge like this in a while. Typically with this kind of time “off”, we’re on the road. I even enjoyed sweeping the floor yesterday because aside from Cleve’s medication schedule, I was able to move everything else out of my mind for a few hours.

Blessing 2:

My nature is to reject community. When we spent two weeks in West Virginia this summer completely secluded, I missed nothing. So when others have taken the time and love to insert themselves into my life, I’m always surprised.

Each of our children were born into different church families. And each time I was surprised when people wanted to bring us a meal to help out after we got home from the hospital.

Moving around has some fun advantages - getting to know new people, developing new relationships, seeing and getting to know more of the country, decorating new homes… But moving around also has some obvious disadvantages - it can be expensive, time-consuming, stressful. The biggest disadvantage to me is the stress on relationships. We have a ton of friends, but few very close friends. It’s hard to sustain meaningful, deep relationships when you move around. Even our “close” friends aren’t that close.

So when people tell me they want to bring us a meal - and we hardly know them (or in the case of Warner’s birth had never even met some of the families who brought us food), it blesses me so much.

Last week, when Cleve broke his arm all the way in Alaska, a pastor at our church immediately made phone calls to find the best orthopedic surgeon here in Raleigh-Durham for us. Then, he followed up to make sure I knew where I was going and how to get there. I never asked for anything more than if anyone in the office had a recommendation for a good doctor. He went two steps above out of love and patience that so few of us have.

We’ve been here such a short period of time, we haven’t had the chance to get involved in a small group or build friendships yet. And after Cleve’s surgery this week, I was again blown away by ladies of the church wanting to line up meals and take care of us. When one of them came over to bring a meal yesterday we chatted for a while. Having someone to talk to - about nothing for a few short minutes - did my soul good during a very stressful two weeks of figuring out some big projects at work, doctors and operations and patient care, and making sure the kids are well cared for.

The phone calls and texts and tweets are so very nice. I pray now that we’re settled in a new town and new church for what I hope is a very long time, these new friendships sparked by a moment of crisis continue to develop and flourish.

Loving each other is inserting yourself into another’s life even when it’s not asked for or even wanted.

This Thanksgiving, I’m most grateful for community, our new church home, and the hope of new friendships.

He always came home.

Sat, 10 Nov 2012 16:45:04 -0600

Today I’m thankful to celebrate my father on Veteran’s Day and not on Memorial Day.

No matter where the military or life took Daddy, he always came home. He may have come home changed or even broken at times, but he still made it.

There are multiple times he escaped death and kept his family from remembering him on Memorial Day. Instead, my little sister and I are only here at all because he came home – every time.

I can’t imagine the 13 months spent in Korea away from his wife and two small children. Even more so, I can’t imagine the surreal, blurry day when the helicopter came down and he managed to make it out alive… Or the times alone, literally running for his life in Central America.

For the sake of democracy and freedom, he risk his life. But he would tell you that’s not the only reason he did it or what he was fighting for. He did it to make a meager living for his young family during a time of recession. And you fight for the men beside you.

There have been life-long consequences to coming home alive. I’m sure there have been times over the past 30+ years when he wondered if coming home alive was worth it. Could the opposite fate have been better?

It’s taken a lot of time and a lot of love, but I feel confident that after seeing where the journey has taken him, Daddy feels blessed to have a strong, loyal woman at his side, four children who look up to him, and 12 grandchildren who cherish him. The wisdom and love he has to share because of life’s journey are irreplaceable as he continues to grow as a man of God.

He has taught me about working hard, discipline, team work, and sacrifice because of his service.

I am so thankful that my Purple Heart, Bronze Star daddy always came home.

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” -Proverbs 1:8-9

Testing 123

Fri, 09 Nov 2012 20:51:55 -0600

Mobile mama just got a lot more tech savvy. For the past two years I’ve been working from home 20 to 30 hours a week and taking care of the kids and home. Now I’m back working out of the house so in order to do everything that I’m committed to well, I’ve had to make some adjustments.

Number one. Upgrade to iPhone 5. My downtime and drivetime commute to work just got a lot more productive. Siri and voice command have revolutionized my mobility.

It took a lot to give up the blackberry keyboard that my thumbs have been glued to for 4+ years.

30 Sucks!

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 18:15:00 -0600

All I ever wanted growing up was to be a wife and mother. I had career ambitions but being a wife and mother topped them. As a little girl I would daydream about getting older… Starting with high school and boyfriends then college and meeting my husband. I had my “happily ever after” all figured out. But then what? As a little girl, I never considered what was after I reached the end of those dreams. Then life actually started happening - no more time to play dress up and plan for the future - time to live it.

A couple of years ago, I was pregnant with what I assumed was my last baby, Warner, and I started dreading turning 30. I had reached the pinnacle of life, I thought - had a great job where I was a respected leader, married the man of my dreams (literally), and mother of both a boy and a girl.

I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. What now?

It’s time to start dreaming again!

For me, I’ve taken a new position and finally settled down. I am dreaming new dreams for my family and for myself. No more Dorian Gray life of avoiding getting older.

Don’t fall into the rut of so many others and do things you’ll regret later. Make wise decisions for your family.

I’m asking myself these questions more often:

Am I living for my kingdom or for God’s?
Is what I’m living for worth Jesus dying for?
Where is my treasure?
Where is my trust? My security?

Packing up and moving on...

Mon, 27 Aug 2012 16:32:48 -0500

It’s been a while since I’ve written. There is a very good reason. Since getting back from West Virginia, we have been in the middle of a crazy, wonderful storm of action, travel, and decisions.

Let me start by saying how thankful I am for God’s guidance and creative speaking to us through this season.

Since leaving Chicago more than a year and a half ago, we’ve been in a perpetual transition, not really knowing what was going on or how long we would be in Nashville.

Now we know what we were waiting ever so patiently on…

After four years and literally hundreds of showings to potential buyers, our house is under contract. Assuming everything goes well, we will close next week!

We will be moving to Raleigh, NC this coming weekend where we will be serving Summit Church, a six campus church reaching all of Raleigh-Durham (pastored by J.D. Greear). I will be their new communications director while Cleve continues to serve The Chapel, do a bit more consulting, and maybe most importantly grow Creative Missions.

While I am sad to be moving further away from home in Georgia, I am excited to move forward, get the kids in a new preschool, and no longer live in the unknown. We will also be significantly closer to Cleve’s mother who could use some family nearby (she’s in Charlotte).

I am so grateful for the past two years. Last fall I wrote about all that can happen in a year. We have been blessed to have spent this time working from home while our kids are little. Cleve and I have been able to spend so much time with the kids and have such flexibility and fun. I wouldn’t trade the adventures and intense family time for anything. We were also blessed to be part of an amazing church in Nashville that we will miss. If you are looking for a church in Nashville, check out Southpointe Community. I promise you’ll be loved and part of community unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.

Cleve and I will still have time with the kids but school, structure, and stability will start to take a bigger priority.

Last week we went to Raleigh and found a house. We’ll actually be living in Chapel Hill. We’re so excited to have a big yard for the kids to play and long driveway for bicycles. (View from the top of the driveway below.)

Now to go pack a few more boxes… t-minus 5 days until the moving trucks arrive.

P.S. Moving to the RDU area with us will be my sister, Laura. So excited to have family with us. She’ll be doing freelance design and communications consulting full time. Let us know if you need anything.

Watching the Clouds Roll by: The Simple Life

Sun, 22 Jul 2012 16:44:18 -0500

We spent the past two weeks getting away to an area that Cleve is very passionate about - the Monongahlia National Forest and Pendleton County, WV, where Cleve’s father’s family is from.

We got a great deal on vrbo.com on a cabin (two weeks for the price of one). It was a simple one bedroom/one bath with a loft for the kids to sleep in. Quaint. And all we needed.

The family has an old house, but it’s not really in the right shape for three kids under five years old to stay in for two weeks (Or one 29-year-old woman, for that matter.)

This wasn’t a vacation. While we did have a lot of fun and spent a lot of quality time together as a family exploring the area, Cleve and I both worked. We have amazing flexibility in life right now to be able to work from anywhere. (Thank you, Chapel, and clients.)

Our Adventures

We spent time literally watching the clouds roll by. Nothing makes you slow down more than stopping to watch the clouds. I wish we had made more time for that on this trip.

Lots of dirt roads, hiking, baking, telling jokes, gun-shooting, fishing, deer, bugs, homemade meals, waterfalls, more stars than I’ve seen in years, a train ride… We took the kids to their first drive-in movie. There would have been more bonfires if the snakes hadn’t spooked us.

We spent time in solitude with God. What better way to spend some quiet time than in the middle of a national forest with rivers and mountain peaks and the most beautiful valleys!

I believe there were a few days when we had more interactions with the wildlife than we did with people.

Different Perspective

Life in Pendleton County is different. It’s a different perspective of the world. On the surface, it seems a bit post-apocolyptic/Hunger Games-like with all the hundred-year-old abandon homes and no-redlight towns of a couple hundred people.

But when you take a closer look, a look that can only come from becoming part of the community and taking a few extra backroads, you start to see the people. People who are just like you and me.

We all need community. We all have or need joy and a sense of humor. We all have layers and layers of history and heritage wether we know what it is or not. We all need to know the Gospel.

A Valuable Lesson

A mild winter equals more snakes and rodents in the summer. I’ll never forget this after our two rare run-ins with rattlesnakes.

Tips for Traveling Often and Cheaply

Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:35:00 -0500

Cleve and I have been asked several times how we’re able to get away so much on church and ministry incomes. Well, most people aren’t rude enough to actually ask it like that – they’re more creative - although we’re not easily offended. It’s actually pretty simple.

First, we make getting away for quality time a priority. It’s a fun way to take a break from day-to-day chaos and focus on our kids and each other. This means sacrificing in other areas so that we can afford to have this fun.

So, here are some of our tips. When combining these efforts, we get pretty great deals.

SAVINGS ACCOUNT

We have a savings account that I put just a few dollars a week into. It’s not enough to pay for whole vacations, but it’s enough to take the sting out of writing a big check for a cabin reservation. Spreading out the spending over the whole year is a huge help.

SET A BUDGET AND STICK TO IT

This summer, Cleve expressed interest in not only our typical beach vacation but also some extended time in West Virginia around the area where his dad grew up. At first, I totally dismissed the idea because there was no way we could afford to do both.

At a second glance at the budget, I realized if we took the resources we had already planned to spend on vacation and took on one extra freelance project, we may be able to make this happen. Eventually, we were able to find a small beach front condo and a cabin in the mountains that fit our budget using some of the tactics below.

COST SAVING HABITS

Diligence.
Don’t just sit down and book your travel plans. Look at all of your options and keep checking back to see if rates change. Book when you see the lowest rate through the lowest vendor. Southwest Air will also let you lock-in a rate, but allow you to get a lower rate if it becomes available later.

Check different days of the week when making travel reservations. Tuesdays, for instance, are often better days to book lower-cost flights. Whatever algorithm travel sites use to determine prices means some days or weeks are cheaper than others. If at first you don’t get the price you want, try and try again.

Be Flexible.
Adjust your travel dates around non-peak times. This year, we went to the beach the week before peak-season began. That saved us hundreds on our condo.

If you have your heart set on a particular location or hotel, planning ahead is usually important to get the best deal and have the best availability. But there is something to be said for waiting until the last minute to get last minute fares. Sometimes spontaneity pays off.

Discounts.
You wouldn’t believe how many discounts we get simply by applying visa discounts and making reservations with a visa. AAA, AARP, and other discounts are also helpful when you can use them.

Friends.
For years, we stayed at the same beach condo owned by a family friend. We didn’t stay for free, but we stayed at around a 50% discount. Huge savings on a beach front condo. Who do you know?

Loyalty to discount sites.
We’ve used Hotwire so many times, we’re “valued” customers and get a few more perks. Many people don’t book through places like Hotwire because of the cancellation policy, but most of these sites love your return business. Once you’ve proven your loyalty, they treat you differently. We have the ability to cancel and change reservations of all kinds (hotel, car rentals, and even airfare) because we’re loyal.

Negotiate.
When we book cabins through vrbo.com, we never pay the asking rate. Sometimes we ask for the cleaning fee to be waived (and still get cleaning service) or we’ll ask for a lower nightly rate.

The cabin we’re currently renting in West Virginia for a couple of weeks is a great example. It didn’t have internet (and mobile hotspots don’t work in the mountains), so we negotiated two weeks for the price of one plus the addition of internet. We were able to do this because in this particular location (which was important to us) had a good chance of not being booked at all. The owners were happy to have the same family there for two weeks even if they couldn’t make as much.

“No More Baby Weight” Challenge Part 1: Complete!

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 18:33:00 -0500

Almost four months ago, I insisted it was time to get rid of the baby weight. My goals were 18 to 20 pounds and two pants sizes by July 4 – that’s roughly one pound a week from when I started.

Update

I’ve currently lost 18 to 19 pounds.
Lost 1.5 pants sizes (2 in a few brands, 1 in more).
I’ve officially lost all the “baby” weight gained but never lost during three pregnancies over four years.

Each week I get to pull out clothes from the back of the closet and be surprised that they fit for the first time in four to five years. It’s been so much fun! It felt amazing going to a wedding and feeling comfortable in the dress I was wearing a couple of weeks ago.

As I mentioned before, this is all accomplished by simply counting calories with MyFitnessPal.com – eating about 1300 calories per day.

The two hurdles I expected to face were the amount of travel I had planned and our insane eating out rituals.

Travel
This was my biggest weakness. I think I could be several pounds further along if I hadn’t been away from home 21 days in the last four months.

The week spent in Arkansas was the worst – eating out every meal was a pretty big set back and hard getting back on track. The week of vacation was a little better. We at least ate at the condo for breakfast and lunch most days, but desserts started adding up.

Eating out
I have been pleasantly surprised at how easy it’s been to eat out while on a diet. Note that I said “diet” and not “eating healthy”. I’ve only been watching calories. Those haven’t necessarily been healthy calories.

Some of my go-to fast food meals:

Chinese: chicken fried rice (1 cup) = avg. 300 calories
Moe’s Southwest Grill (or similar): Naked chicken burrito = <500 calories
Zaxby’s: five chicken fingers = 430 calories
Chick-fil-A: 12 count chicken nuggets = 400 calories
Sonic at breakfast: small tot and junior breakfast burrito = 390 calories
Sonic dinner: small tot and two chicken strips = 330 calories
Taco Bell: crunchy tacos = 170 calories each; bean burrito = 310 calories
Krystal breakfast: one sausage, egg, and cheese on bun = 200 calories
Medium Dr. Pepper, split in half with Diet Dr. Pepper (half the calories, most of the taste) = 80 calories

New items on the grocery list that I didn’t buy often before:

Whole wheat saltine crackers (to go with peanut butter or tuna)
Nature’s Own Whole Wheat Rounds (I don’t eat a sandwich on anything else; good fiber and whole grain)
More eggs and Colby jack cheese (Egg sandwiches have become good anytime of day)
Mozzarella or Colby jack cheese sticks
Rice crispy treats (90 calories) and dark chocolate (few days go by without a piece or two of dark chocolate to fulfill the need for sweets at 20 calories per piece)
Special treat: frozen yogurt (100-130 calories per serving)

Things I’ve cut out more than others:

Bread – I rarely get sandwiches out and limit to one piece of restaurant bread
French fries (in exchange for mashed potatoes or another veggie)
Italian food – I can find something low calorie and still really good (often fried, even) at most restaurants except at Italian restaurants. I haven’t figured out a way to make fettuccini alfredo or macaroni and cheese low calorie.
Red meat (and some pork)– I’ve still eaten a few burgers and steaks, but I trade both beef and pork for turkey as often as possible and especially skip the bread if making burgers at home.

Biggest Disappointment
I really thought I would notice a bigger difference in myself. Don’t get me wrong; I have more energy and I’m wearing different clothes. But 18 pounds is a lot, so I kind of thought I would see myself differently looking in the mirror and definitely thought I would lose a full 2 sizes. I think there’s probably a very valuable lesson about self-image here. :-)

New Goals
Now that I know I can do this, I’m recalibrating my goals for the next few months. It’s now time to get rid of the weight gained the first few years of marriage.

Weight still to lose: 15 pounds
Sizes: 2 more pants sizes
Rate: 1+ lbs per week
Exercise: More physical activity (compared to the near nothing I’m doing now - aside from keeping up with three kids)
Date: Oct. 7, my second 29th birthday (13 weeks)

I’d love to turn 30 at the weight I was in college. Then I’ll be officially finished with this project!

It’s been incredibly helpful that my sisters and mother are on this journey with me. I’ve actually been the least successful. They are rock stars (20+ lbs each). I couldn’t be prouder (or happier that I jumped on the wagon at the right time).

"I just want to settle down."

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 11:33:00 -0500

Settled is a state-of-mind.

This is a revelation I came to last week. My heart’s desire is to be settled. I’ve said “Yes, Lord, we will go wherever in the world you lead… As long as we can stay there.”

Since getting married, we’ve moved around a lot more than I ever imagined. In this season since moving back to Nashville of transition and waiting and not knowing where we’ll go next, we’ve been frustrated. Will we stay in Nashville? Will our house ever sell? Will we go back to one of our hometowns? Or will we go on a new adventure? Only God and time will tell.

After sitting in life’s waiting room, I just want to get where we’re going and plant roots. I want Cy to start kindergarten next year in the school system that he’ll graduate from. (Yeah, right!)

I’ve thought this was a small request – given the fact that after years of kicking and screaming I’ve said this can be anywhere as long as it’s mostly permanent.

Then it hit me. Settled is a state-of-mind.

A lot of families move around. And they have well-adjusted, cultured children as a result. Could this be so bad?

How would my life change if I embraced this way of life? I could be content now regardless of my circumstances, for starters, and provide this attitude for our children.

What if our ministry does move around every few years? I know my heart’s cry has been to settle down and give my kids life-long friends and roots, but what if that’s a sacrifice we’ve been asked to make?

“Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ Jesus replied, ‘Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.’ Another disciple said to him, ‘Lord, first let me go and bury my father.’ But Jesus told him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.’” Matthew 8:19-22 (NIV)

We’ve met some incredible people along the way and made some great friends. Who else could be out there that we are supposed to cross paths with?

Cleve and I each have a purpose and we have even bigger purpose TOGETHER. I don’t want to miss out on that purpose because I was too stubborn to give up some comfort. I want our kids to see an example of parents who followed God’s path wherever it led and gave them love and stability in the midst of an at-times chaotic life.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” -Jim Elliot

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’ … Then I said, “For how long, Lord?” And he answered: ‘Until the cities lie ruined and without inhabitant..’” Isaiah 6:8, 11

God gave an answer, but it wasn’t an easy or uncomplicated one.

So, here we go. Peace in my mind and heart so that I can provide stability for our family.

Ocean Isle Beach, NC - June 2012 Last set of vacation pics: Part...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:38:00 -0500

Sand Fort: Waiting for the tide

Sick day for Charlotte. :-(

I wanna play catch too, Daddy.

Low tide water was like a swimming pool.

iPad playing - waiting up for the boys.

Wide open beach for Warner to run around

So much sand in W's mouth!

Highly recommend Ocean Isle for families

Ocean Isle Beach, NC - June 2012

Last set of vacation pics: Part 3

Vacation pics: Part 2

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:27:26 -0500

Our dining table view for the week!

First of many ice cream outings.

Rare pic of everyone playing together.

Impromptu self-portraits on the beach.

Gotta love a camera timer and tripod.

More low tide fun.

Runaway baby... We did this a lot

Sand fort - waiting for the tide to come

Vacation pics: Part 2

Vacation pics: Part 1

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 17:17:00 -0500

Packed in like sardines in the same row!

"Laying out" for about 20 seconds.

Playing in the low tide.

Lots of seafood eating!

Love all the privacy on this beach!

Lots of digging.

Everyone loved playing in the low tide.

Always busy working on something.

Vacation pics: Part 1